The “Gen Z Stare” Isn’t the Problem—But It Is a Signal
If you’ve spent any time on TikTok lately, you’ve seen it. The “Gen Z Stare” is everywhere, everyone is talking about it—and in the last two days, it’s been every third post on my For You Page.
Blank face. No smile. Minimal eye contact. No real engagement.
In the wild, it shows up at coffee counters, retail registers, and hotel front desks. A customer walks up, and the employee looks… through them. It's not always hostile. Sometimes it's anxious. Sometimes it's a defense mechanism. But in a service setting, it feels like disconnect.
And while it’s easy to joke about or complain about, if you’re running a business or managing people, you can’t just scroll past this one. It’s time to coach through it.
What Gen Z Is Actually Saying
Let’s not project. Let’s listen.
“I don’t owe you a conversation. You’re a stranger.”
— TikTok
“We’re not rude. We’re just processing. We don’t have the capacity for fake energy today.”
— Business Insider
“They act like they’ve never seen a customer service person before.”
This is real. This generation missed out on key social development during the pandemic. Many didn’t have those early, formative service jobs. They weren’t out interacting with strangers. They were online, isolated, and unsure how to read the room—literally.
And now? They’re trying to figure it out in front of your guests and customers.
But Here’s What They Don’t Know Yet
There’s real joy in these jobs.
The best part of service work isn’t following steps—it’s creating moments. It’s chatting with a regular. Offering someone their “usual.” Seeing a guest light up because you remembered something small.
Those little sparks of human connection? That’s the fun. That’s the magic. That’s what makes showing up for work feel good.
But no one’s told them that. No one’s built it into their training.
And that’s where we come in.
Stop Training for Steps—Start Training for Connection
It’s time to reframe our approach to service culture. We can’t just teach the what anymore. We need to teach the why.
Let’s teach our Gen Z team members:
That joy lives on the other side of confidence
That service work done well creates meaning and energy—not just for customers, but for them too
That the more they show up, the more they grow—not just at work, but in life
Let’s tie it all back to something we’ve talked about before: the 5 Pillars of Human Connection—because those apply to our teams just as much as our guests:
To feel understood
To feel like they belong
To feel like they matter
To feel a sense of control
To believe they can grow
These are the very things missing from a lot of young workers’ first jobs—and our service culture training can help fill that gap.
5 Ways to Shift the Stare Into Confidence
Here’s how to turn the Gen Z stare into something warmer, stronger, and more connected:
1. Redefine Professionalism
That blank face? It’s often an attempt to “be professional.” Show them that real professionalism is warmth, attentiveness, and presence—not silence.
2. Give Them Reps
Don’t just say “be friendly.” Practice greetings. Practice how to read a room. Practice tone. Role-play. Repeat. That’s how confidence is built.
3. Explain the Why
Smiling isn’t about being nice—it’s about helping the customer feel safe. And when guests feel seen and valued, they spend more, tip better, return often—and that keeps everyone employed.
4. Catch the Good Stuff
Praise the first moment they try. Celebrate small wins. Show them that effort is noticed and appreciated.
5. Model It at the Top
If managers walk around stone-faced or bark orders without eye contact, don’t expect anyone else to bring the sunshine. Culture trickles down.
Let’s Help Them Show Up
The Gen Z stare isn’t going away overnight. But if we want engaged teams and loyal customers, we can’t just write it off as a joke. We need to coach through it.
The good news? Most young workers do care. They just need someone to show them what caring looks like in the context of work—and why it’s worth the effort.
Because once they find the joy in connection, they start showing up differently. And that changes everything.
Want help building training that taps into this kind of purpose and connection? Visit kellyhaynie.com to learn more about workshops and programs built around service culture that actually sticks.
